How To Have Better Stuff And Curate Instead Of Collect

Think about what it means to have “better stuff”. Imagine this: you’re a kid again and it’s Halloween. You have big important plans to go trick-or-treating with a friend and you’re focused – like, Olympic gold medal-focused- on 2 things:

1. your costume is going to be far more impressive than your friend’s and
2. you’re going blow this unofficial candy competition out of the park.

You both agree to take different routes around the same neighborhood and meet at the end of the street to compare your winnings.

I mean, it’s all strategy- you have to know where to go. You have to know who’s handing out the stingy 1-pieces and who’s throwing out handfuls. You feel sorry for your friend already.  

So there you are- meeting up at the end of the street, giant sacks in tow and, as you suspected, yours is far superior. Being the helpful friend that you are (and the clear winner) you spend the entire walk home declaring how you’ll show them where to go next year to get better results.

You each claim a spot on the floor and dump your haul into a mound for sorting and comparing but…wait…what?

Your friend is lining up rows of Snickers, KitKats, Twix, and even glow-in-the-dark bracelets and your pile is full of Bit-O-Honey, strawberry chewies, and Mary Janes (what does that even mean?!).

You offer to trade a handful of your squished taffy for a candy bar but she doesn’t want a handful of crap anymore than you do. This is how kids lose at Halloween- maybe next year.

Quality Over Quantity

Quality will always be better than quantity.

Now, maybe you’re thinking well, Mia, what if I had the same chocolate bars and still had all of the taffy stuff giving me more candy?

To that I say- what’s the point?

So that you have to dig through the candy you don’t want just to reach the stuff you love? So that the pieces of unloved taffy-textured corn syrup can fill crevices throughout your room making things sticky and bringing in a trail of ants?

We’re trained to think that more is better, but it isn’t- better is better. The same is true with our belongings. When you become a curator and have better stuff instead of a collector you’re able to easily save space, time, and energy and, you know, have better stuff.

No more collecting 15 face lotions just so you can repeat the Goldy Locks process every few months- that’s right this one was too oily, this one feels like I’m putting milk on my face…well, guess I’ll go back to the tried-and-true that’s juuust right.

Let’s dive in and talk about how to curate a selective line of belongings for yourself so you can have better stuff.   

It’s time to curate instead of collect.

Declutter By Selection

In order to truly curate instead of collect and truly have better stuff (instead of a scary conglomerate of things), you’ll have to be willing to let some stuff go.

Decluttering gives you clarity and narrows down the items that are currently working for you. At very least, you’re getting down to the stuff that’s up for consideration.

Maybe you’re trying to curate a wardrobe of clothes you’ll actually wear. Declutter the clothes you’re currently avoiding. Even if you’re left with a few items that you’re not totally sure about, it’s all part of the process.

It just so happens that the counterintuitive first step in decluttering anything is to select the good stuff first.

In other words, if you’re clearing out the entryway that’s been collecting everything from pocket lint to the entire pair of jeans you couldn’t take a step farther in, you’ll want to start by picking out the “keeps” first; then go through and clear out the rest.

This positions your possessions as intentional selections and also happens to go really well with this process of curating a selective line of belongings. The 2 really go hand-in-hand, decluttering and curating. Just so we’re clear, curating is what leads you to have better stuff.

Increase Your Awareness (Heat Mapping)

So, you’ve selected your items to keep and chunked the definite NO’s but- just like with the wardrobe example above- you probably still have some things that you’re not completely sold on.

This is totally normal and is the exact reason for this next step which is to increase your awareness. That is, you want to increase awareness of your usage.

We have the tendency to romanticize how often we use something or how much we’ll likely use it in the future. After all, this anxiety about the future is one of the primary reasons why people have so much trouble letting go of things.

Well, what if I need it? Well, what if I lose weight, gain weight, run out of this other thing, or what if royalty comes to have a fine dinner with me and I don’t have the fine china?

In general, we humans have an amazing ability to imagine. The only way to counteract a fantasy is with good data that’s grounded in reality. I like to call this heat mapping your belongings.

There are many ways you can accomplish this- flip the hangers around in the closet as you wear things or start a new group for products after you use them.

For example, all of those facial products I mentioned earlier can be grouped together in one grouping. Then, as you use something you just start a new group off to the side.

Whatever method you choose, the important thing is that you’re increasing awareness and providing visual data of the belongings you own that are getting some love and attention (and of course, those that aren’t).

Stick With What Works, Rinse And Repeat

I get it, it’s great to try new things and our joy tolerance is so low. This is why retail therapy has a short lifespan. The dopamine hits are fleeting and it’s hard to get the same level of enjoyment out of the same thing for a long period of time.

We want to have better stuff but can’t seem to break out of this fantasy perception that more is better and less is loss. So, what to do? Well, for one, maybe try to get your enjoyment elsewhere.

If it’s working

This is how homes, schedules, and lives get so out of control- we constantly try to change things that don’t need changing and add things that don’t need adding. I know, I know, things are pretty- they’re supposed to be.

Just because something’s pretty and has excellent marketing copy on the packaging doesn’t mean that it’s going to be perfect for you. There are certain products, attire, accessories, etc. that may be all they’re hyped up to be and still not work for you.

Here’s an important distinction- to have better stuff doesn’t mean that you have the best stuff. We generally consider the “best stuff” to be the most expensive, the rarest, or what everyone else is touting.

That stuff may or may not work for you and you definitely shouldn’t own it just because it’s supposed to be the best.

If you’ve found something that’s rocking your world- a product that was made for you, a snack that always hits the spot, a chair that cradles your butt just right- then stick with it.

Rinse and repeat.

What you’ll find is that even if these items are more expensive you’re still saving money on a regular basis because you’re not buying all of the other crap that is far inferior, for your needs.

When it’s not working

Of course, if something isn’t working then you may need to experiment with other things. In that case, try no more than a few new things at a time (remember, the unchosen items are likely going to wind up being clutter down the line).

When you think you’ve found a match give it a little time; experiment. A huge part of achieving improvement in anything- whether a mindset shift for personal growth or a new pair of toenail clippers- is experimentation.

We wind up confusing our own tastes because we have a persistent feeling of need. Stop being so needy. When you find something that works great for you, start practicing more gratitude and less neediness for the next thing. That’s how you curate instead of collect.

And that, my friend, is how you will always have better stuff.

It’s a practice just like anything else but there’s a lot more relief in feeling grateful for those leather booties that scoop your foot just right than there is in feeling like you need to buy another pair in a different color.